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Festivals in December

If you thought December festivities in Britain were a sedate, orderly affair, you thought wrong. To start with, any festival celebrating the glorious birth of a spiritual saviour by stuffing nuts, fruit, and vegetables up a dead bird's backside is far from normal. But beyond the cruelty to animals, some Brits prefer to let rip on themselves at Christmas time - take, for example, the members of the Serpentine Swimming Club. On Christmas morning these hardy, warm-blooded blokes take a stroll through Hyde Park wearing skimpy swimming trunks before smashing a hole in the ice at the Lido pool, and taking a fresh, invigorating dip. Why? Because it's always been that way - that's how we do things in Britain. But however crazy the Brits may be acting in December, it's noth­ing compared to the rest of the world...

Those whacky Swiss - well-known for their insane pranks and love of danger - enjoy throw­ing themselves down an icy 1500- metre mountain at speeds reach­ing 80 mph with nothing between them and the ice but a thin piece of wood. It's called the Cresta Run and the event draws nutters from all over the world - from hardened adrenaline-junkies to ordinary people who just want the chance to smash a few limbs. The idea is similar to bobsleighing except the competitors go down head first and the run is entirely natural, not man-made, making it wilder and less predictable. It's a little dan­gerous and casualties are high - there are a growing number of men wearing the prestigious "shuttlecock tie" awarded to those hospitalized after flying off one of the nastier of the run's ten sharp corners.

Every December the bachelors from the small Alaskan town of Talkeetna gather to chat, drink beer, and watch football. There's nothing strange in that - it's what the women are doing that raises an eye­brow. Talkeetna Bachelor Society has created the ultimate wife-choosing competition. While the men relax, husband- seeking women jump onto snowmobiles and race to a distant kitchen where they each prepare a mouth-watering meal. They then scoot back on their snowmobiles to the waiting men, presenting their chosen bachelor with the dish. The men know exactly what they want and judge the women entirely on culinary skill and delivery speed.

But December isn't all about bobsleighs and snowmobiles - after all, countries like Mexico have no snow at all. Rest assured the Mexicans aren't any less crazy - in fact, sometimes it seems the warmer the climate, the weirder the people. Any nation that eats jalapenos for breakfast is bound to be a little odd, and evidence of that can be found in the small town of Oaxaca. Every 23rd December the resi­dents gather in the town square to cel­ebrate the radish - that most noble and beautiful of root vegetables - by hold­ing a radish sculpturing competition known as the Night of the Radish. For several hours the artisans hack away at the radishes - which are up to 50cm in length - gradually carving works of ex­quisite radish art. Religious scenes, Ma­donnas, images from folktales, animals, bullfighters, spaceships - the only limit to the mighty radish is the skill and imagination of the sculptor. A grand prize of 12000 pesos is given to the best sculpture, but with a free feast and 400 pesos for each entry "everybody", claim the organisers, "is a winner".

All over the world other communities are cel­ebrating in weird and wonderful ways during December. In Nepal, the annual Elephant Polo Championship is held: elephants charging wildly in pursuit of a small ball may sound dangerous, but the rules are strictly applied. No trunks allowed. In America, the Florideans get in on the act with the King Mango Strut, a carnival parade. It's described by the organisers as a demonstration of the incisive wit and political satire for which Florida is famous; maybe, but we like the odd features such as the Synchronized Briefcase Drill Team and the Garbage Can Orchestra which provide the musi­cal backdrop for the float parade.

Back to Britain, to Stonehaven in Scotland, where on the 31st De­cember 60 residents march through the streets wielding giant 16-pound fireballs swung from 5-foot long chains which they then, fortunately, throw into the sea. Apparently it gets rid of the evils of the last year.

It certainly is a crazy, mixed up world out there and it just goes to show that December isn't all about tinsel, crackers and mince pies - it can be about suicidal death-runs and radishes too. The old English idiom "there's nowt as queer as folk" has never been more true.

Decide whether the following statements are true or false. In the answer sheet write the word TRUE or FALSE.

46. The Brits do the weirdest things in December.

47. Only the Swiss can take part in the Cresta Run.

48. The winner of the Cresta Run gets the shuttlecock tie.

49. The bachelors from the small Alaskan town of Talkeetna behave normally in December.

50. The woman has only to cook well to be chosen by a bachelor in Talkeetna.

51. In spite of the lack of snow, the Mexicans also do strange things in December.

52. In Nepal people play polo using the little sculptures of elephants without trunks.

53. In Stonehaven people throw fireballs into the sea to praise gods.

54. The author wants to prove that Christmas is not suitable for crazy traditions.

Study the meanings of some words and find the words in the text.

55. calm

56. to go crazy

57. tight and small

58. making you feel fresh

59. a quick swim

60. a practical joke

61. to express surprise without saying anything

62. chasing after

63. to hold something heavy or dangerous

64. nothing

65. people