An Expensive Holiday

Eddie: Hello, Ellen! Hello, Ben! Hello, Jenny!

Ben: Hello, Eddie! Have a cigarette.

Eddie: Thanks, Ben.

Ellen: Help yourself to whiskey!

J e n n y: It's on the shelf.

Ben: How did you spend your holiday, Eddie?

E d d i e : I went to America with a friend.

Everybody: Well!

Ellen: We're all jealous.

Ben: Was it expensive?

Eddie: Yes. Very. I've spent everything.

Jenny: Haven't you any money left?

Eddie: Yes, Jenny! Ten pence!

A Bad Hijacker

Hostess Bradley: Alice! Perhaps that passenger is a hijacker!

Hostess Allen: Which passenger, Anne? That sad man with the camera? He's wearing black slacks and a jacket.

Hostess Bradley: No. That fat lady with the big black handbag in her left hand.

Hostess Allen: Is she standing next to the lavatory?

Hostess Bradley: Yes. She's travelling to Amsterdam.

Hostess Allen: You're mad, Anne, I don't understand.

Hostess Bradley: You see, when she went into the lavatory she didn't have that handbag in her hand, and now she's...

Fat lady: {clapping her hands) EVERYBODY STAND! I'm a hijacker. And in this handbag I have a...

Handbag: BANG!

The End of the Adventure

Ken: Ted! Thank heaven! I was getting desperate.

Ted: Hello there, Ken. Where are Jeff and the rest of the men? К е n: They left me in the tent with some eggs and some bread, and off they went.

Ted: Where were they heading?

Ken: West. In that direction. They said they'd bury the treasure under the dead elm — you remember, by the bend in the fence — and get back by sunset.

Ted: All ten of them went?

Ken: They said the chest was heavy.

Ted: They left — when?

Ken: Yesterday, between ten and eleven.

Ted: And you let them?

Ken: There were ten of them ...

Ted: Well, my friend, I reckon that's the end of the adventure. We'll never see the treasure chest or any of those ten men again.

Crackle, Crackle, Galactic Static

Gran: Jack, do you have to bang and slam on that piano like that?

Jack: I'm practicing for our new album. It's smashing.

Gran: An album? You mean that racket you and your gang bash out?

Jack: We're not a gang, we're a fantastic jazz band. Sally and Janet, me on the piano, Alec on the sax — the Galactic Static. It'll be an absolute smash hit.

Gran: The Galactic Racket, if you ask me. And all you'll smash is Granddad’s piano.

Jасk: Gran, we have talent. We're cool cats, man. Crackle, crackle, Galactic Static!

Gran: The young man's mad. Here. I've made you a fat ham sandwich and a crab-apple jam flan.

Jack: Ah, Gran, you may not understand jazz but your flans are fab.

22. Read the rhymes and learn them.

    1. Ann and Andy,	2. Andy Pandy, Jack-a-dandy,
    Sugar and candy,	Loves plum cake and sugar candy
    I say stand up!	Bought it from a candy shop
    	And away did, hop, hop, hop!
    3. Pussy-cat, Pussy-cat.	If you catch,
    Can you catch	that bad fat rat,
    that big fat rat?	you will have
    	some milk for that.

23. Transcribe the proverbs and learn them.

1. East or west, home is best.

2. All is well that ends well.

3. Good health is above wealth.

4. Better to do well than to say well.

5. If you cannot have the best, make the best of what you can.

6. Better late than never but better never late.

7. Money spent on brain is never spent in vain.