How to Be Happy in an Unhappy World

The pursuit of happiness seems to be an obsession for many Americans. A recent series of articles by the Associated Press dealt with the frantic search for that ill-identified enigma.

Every six months, according to these articles, approximately 11 million Americans seek professional help for their unhappiness. To aid them in their search, there are more than 200,000 licensed psychotherapists, along with countless thousands of unlicensed counselors, clergy, and other mental-health practitioners. Said the reporters in their story, “This is more than twice the number believed to be practicing ‘in the early ‘60s. “

The relentless pursuit of this sense of wellbeing is not confined to Americans. People who study such things suggest that the search for fulfillment may well be the prime motivator in all human behavior.

It seems strange that the most knowledgeable generation in history has not been able to devise better solutions in this quest for happiness. Perhaps the answers are so simple and have been around so long that we have overlooked them. British writer William Sangster offered some suggestions on that subject during a talk I attended in England. Let’s consider some of his major points.

In our search for happiness, most of us are looking for the wrong thing. The average person defines happiness as a state of complete tranquillity and security without anxiety or worry. A few years ago in a seminar designed to help business people working in high-stress positions, the participants were asked to give their definition of happiness. The majority indicated that Utopia for them would be a tropical island where there were no clocks, calendars, or schedules. Life would be a I continual festival of “wine, romance, and song.” When pressed to identify someone who had achieved such a state of being, no one could offer an example.

That’s easy to understand. It has rightly been said that the only people who have complete tranquillity and security are in the cemetery. We live in a world we cannot completely manage. There are accidents, natural disasters, and disease. There are daily problems that we can’t avoid. As long as that’s the case, we can never be completely secure or live in total tranquillity. But real happiness is not living in a world where everything is right. Happiness is a sense of joy and inner peace, despite the world’s danger and constant turmoil. It is not some distant goal to be achieved. The truth is, if we can’t be happy now, we will likely never be.

In our search for happiness, most of us look in the wrong place. The necessities of life – food, clothing, shelter, etc. – are important. People who are hungry and cold, people who have insufficient resources to care for essential needs, are likely to be troubled and unhappy. But even when these needs are met, it does not necessarily mean that they will be happy.

I once heard a story of a friend who had struggled up from the slums of London. Believing that happiness meant rising out of poverty, he mapped a course and thought that when he reached that goal he would be happy. He got there! He built his dream castle and surrounded himself with every luxury. One day, the story­teller went to visit his friend and found the man seated in the breath-taking beauty of a lovely garden at his country estate outside London. He noticed that his friend was reading a book, but when he approached, the man tried to hide the title. Later, while his friend was preparing tea, the book fell open to the title page – “How to Find Happiness When You Have Everything.”

In our quest for happiness, most of us look for it in the wrong way. A popular song a few years back was entitled, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” That sounds like good advice, but it’s a state of mind that is difficult if not impossible to achieve. One of the great illusions of our time is that happiness can be attained through a direct search for it. We can’t just say to ourselves, “Be happy.” Happiness is a by-product. It is the result of efforts made toward other goals.

Most football players can understand this. While seated on the bench watching the action on the field, the player is safe and secure. He should be happy and content. The truth is, he’s likely miserable. He pleads with the coach and finally gets in the game. Out there on the field he is tackled time after time, leaving him battered and bruised – but happy.

There is a timeless proverb containing an important truth: “The happy people are those who are too busy to know whether they are happy or not.” If there is anything worse than having too much to do, it is having nothing to do. Happiness always comes as a result of a search for something else – a by-product of another quest.

It is not by accident that the happiest people are those who make a conscious effort to live useful lives. Their happiness, of course, is not a shallow exhilaration where life is one continuous intoxicating party. Rather, their happiness is a deep sense of inner peace that comes when they believe their lives have meaning and that they are making a difference for good in the world. Happiness, these people have learned, is not so much the result of positive thinking as a derivative of positive living.

To the extent that we follow their example, we can find happiness. Each of us can be happy, even in an unhappy world.

Read the text again for detail and answer the following questions:

1. What do many Americans do to achieve happiness?

2. Is the pursuit of the sense of well-being confined only to Americans?

3. Why ‘most of us are looking for the wrong thing’ in our search for happiness?

4. What is meant by ‘looking in the wrong place’ in people’s pursuit of happiness?

5. What is ‘the wrong way’ and what is ‘the right way’ of looking for happiness?