- •A small world of great people. The day is lost
- •Mark twain
- •Mark Twain’s Jokes
- •Mark Twain and the Guard
- •Mark Twain’s Lecture
- •A Journey with Mark Twain
- •Mark Twain and his Doubles
- •He doesn’t Say
- •Mark Twain’s Answer
- •One of Mark Twain’s Jokes
- •Music — the Life Saver
- •He never Heard Her in “Carmen”
- •One More Funny Story
- •Find out the key sentence of it;
- •Entitle the story;
- •Prove your point of view.
- •Imagine Mark Twain’s reaction to the storekeeper’s words.
- •Is your last sentence close to the original?
- •Whose variant is better? The Author’s or yours?
- •Say which points are really worth discussing;
- •Prove your opinion.
- •Mark Twain is Home to Stay
- •Jack london
- •Jack London and the Editor
- •Try to do your best to attract the classmates’ attention, telling them
- •Balzac1
- •A Story about Balzac
- •Balzac as a Handwriting Expert
- •Balzac and the Thief
- •Jonathan swift
- •Conan doyle
- •Sherlock Holmes and a Taxi-Driver.
- •About Conan Doyle
- •1) You read more willingly;
- •2) Contains much more information about the same incident.
- •Bernard shaw
- •The First Night Performance
- •Too Great a Majority
- •Robert burns
- •How many of them?
- •What are they? What his Life Was Worth
- •What his Life Was Worth
- •Samuel johnson
- •Samuel Johnson
- •What made the woman angry;
- •If Johnson mentioned all parts of speech. Erich remarque1
- •George washington
- •President;
- •Personality.
- •George Washington 1
- •The Secretary’s Watch1
- •An Officer Who Learnt a Lesson
- •George Washington’s Birthday (February 22)1
- •Glossary
- •Lincoln
- •President;
- •Personality.
- •Abraham Lincoln’s Birthday (February 12)
- •Benjamin franklin
- •Benjamin Franklin
- •Isaac newton
- •Columbus
- •Columbus and the Egg
- •1) Well-known to you;
- •2) Unknown to you.
- •Columbus Day (Second Monday in October)
- •Diogenes1
- •Alexander of Macedon
- •Diogenes and Alexander the Great
- •Diogenes
- •Diogenes
- •Joseph turner 1
- •A Story about Joseph Turner
- •1) Shorter, missing some pieces of unimportant information;
- •2) Longer, adding some more important details.
- •Michelangelo 1
- •Michelangelo
- •Murillo
- •A Slave
- •Rossini1
- •Rossini’s Old Acquaintances
- •The Great Poet
- •His First Opera
- •The Blind Man and the Great Artist
- •The blind man;
- •The artist;
- •A person from the crowd.
- •Enrico caruso
- •Enrico Caruso
- •Matthews
- •Matthews and his Servant
- •Revision exercises
- •I ndividual
A Journey with Mark Twain
One day Mark Twain met a friend at the races in England. The friend came up to him and said: “I’m broke.1 I wish you would buy me a ticket back to London.”
“Well,” Mark Twain said, “I’m nearly broke myself, but I will tell you what we’ll do. You can hide under my seat in the train and I’ll hide you with my legs.” The friend agreed.
Mark Twain, however, went to the ticket-office and bought two tickets. When the train pulled out2 his friend was safely under the seat. The inspector came around for the ticket. When Mark Twain gave the inspector two tickets, he asked: “Where is the other one?”
Looking at the inspector the humorist said in a loud voice: “That is my friend’s ticket. You see, he’s a little eccentric and likes to hide under the seat.”
Mark Twain and his Doubles
Mark Twain received many letters and photos from men who had been told that they looked like him. One man was from Florida and he was very much like Mark Twain. So the great humorist sent him such a letter:
“My dear Sir, I thank you very much for your letter and the photograph. In my opinion you are more than other of my doubles like me. In fact, I am sure that if you stood before me in a frame with no mirror I could shave by you.”
He doesn’t Say
Once Mark Twain was asked to autograph “The autobiography of Benjamin Franklin”, the well-known American politician and scientist.
The owner of the book, nervously trying to make conversation while Mark Twain wrote his name, asked, “By the way, when did Benjamin Franklin die?”
Twain opened the book, read the last pages carefully, then looked up at the owner of the book and said, “He doesn’t say.”
Mark Twain’s Answer
When Mark Twain edited a newspaper in Missouri, one of his subscribers wrote him that he found a spider in his paper and he wished to know whether it meant good luck or bad.
Mark Twain replied: “Finding a spider in your paper is neither good luck nor bad. The spider was looking over the newspaper to see which merchant was not advertising, so that he could go to that shop, spin his web across the door and live a happy and peaceful life!”
One of Mark Twain’s Jokes
The famous American author Mark Twain had to give a lecture one evening in a small town. He got to the town in the afternoon, and after dinner went into a shop to buy some ink and paper. After he had bought the things he needed, he told the man in the shop that he wanted to see some of the interesting buildings and places in the town, and he asked the man to tell him what to see and where to go.
The man took a city map and showed him where to go. Then he said:
“Mark Twain is going to give a lecture at the writers’ club this evening. If you’d like to go to the lecture, you must buy your ticket now. If you don’t, you’ll have to stand during the whole lecture.”
“Yes, yes, I know,” Mark Twain said. “Whenever Mark Twain lectures, I have to stand.”
Mark Twain’s Lecture
Once a literary club invited Mark Twain to give a lecture. Before the lecture, one of the members of the club came to him and said:
“Mr. Twain, people say that you can tell very funny stories. I hope that during your lecture you will tell a story that will make my uncle laugh. He hasn’t laughed for ten years.”
“I’ll do my best,” Mark Twain said.
When he began his lecture, Mark Twain noticed the club member. He was sitting in front of him with an old man who had a very sad face.
Mark Twain began to tell jokes, one after another. “I told long jokes and short jokes, new jokes and old jokes,” Mark Twain told his friends. “I told every joke in my memory, and soon everybody was laughing. Everybody – but not the old man. He continued to look at me with his cold, blue eyes. I was ashamed to think that I couldn’t make him laugh, and I tried again and again. But nothing helped…”
After the lecture, the club member came to Mark Twain and said, “Thank you, Mr. Twain. I have never heard so many very funny stories.”
“They weren’t funny enough for your uncle,” Mark Twain answered. “He didn’t even smile!”
“I know,” the man said. “I told you that he hasn’t laughed for ten years. But I didn’t tell you that he hasn’t heard anything for ten years. He is deaf.”