Using the telephone. The mobile phone

In civilized societies telephone is used not only for business purposes or to relay information, it is used to socialize. Especially when you are separated by distance from family or friends: you call to keep in touch – on birthdays, all kinds of holidays and special occasions. It is a well established fact that people who use the telephone the most are teenagers and elderly people. At least it used to be so a couple of decades ago – before the advent of computer and mobile phone…

THIS IS WHAT R.FOX WRITES ABOUT MOBILE PHONE ETIQUETTE AS PART OF ENGLISH CULTURE…OR LACK OF CULTURE?

Suddenly, almost everyone in England has a mobile phone, but because this is new, unfamiliar technology, there

are no set rules of etiquette governing when, how and in what manner these phones should be used. We are

having to ‘make up’ and negotiate these rules as we go along – a fascinating process to watch and, for a social

scientist, very exciting, as one does not often get the opportunity to study the formation of a new set of

unwritten social rules.

For example: I have found that most English people, if asked, agree that talking loudly about banal business or

domestic matters on one’s mobile while on a train is rude and inconsiderate. COMMENT Yet a significant minority of people

still do this, and while their fellow passengers may sigh and roll their eyes, they very rarely challenge the

offenders directly – as this would involve breaking other, well-established English rules and inhibitions about

talking to strangers, making a scene or drawing attention to oneself. COMPARE WITH THE WAYS IN OTHER CULTURES The offenders, despite much public

discussion of this problem, seem oblivious to the effects of their behaviour, in the same way that people tend to

pick their noses and scratch their armpits in their cars, apparently forgetting that they are not invisible.

How will this apparent impasse be resolved? There are some early signs of emerging rules regarding mobilephone

use in public places, and it looks as though loud ‘I’m on a train’ conversations – or mobiles ringing in

cinemas and theatres – may eventually become as unacceptable as queue jumping, WHAT ARE YOUR EXPECTATIONS CONCERNING THIS COUNTRY? but we cannot yet be

certain, particularly given English inhibitions about confronting offenders. Inappropriate mobile-phone use on

trains and in other public places is at least a social issue of which everyone is now aware. But there are other

aspects of ‘emerging’ mobile-phone etiquette that are even more blurred and controversial.

There are, for example, as yet no agreed rules of etiquette on the use of mobile phones during business

meetings. Do you switch your phone off, discreetly, before entering the meeting? Or do you take your phone out

and make a big ostentatious show of switching it off, as a flattering gesture conveying the message ‘See how

important you are: I am switching off my phone for you’? Then do you place your switched-off phone on the

table as a reminder of your courtesy and your client’s or colleague’s status? If you keep it switched on, do you

do so overtly or leave it in your briefcase? Do you take calls during the meeting? My preliminary observations

indicate that lower-ranking English executives tend to be less courteous, attempting to trumpet their own

importance by keeping phones on and taking calls during meetings, while high-ranking people with nothing to

prove tend to be more considerate.

Then what about lunch? Is it acceptable to switch your phone back on during the business lunch? Do you

need to give a reason? Apologize? Again, my initial observations and interviews suggest a similar pattern. Lowstatus, insecure people tend to take and even sometimes make calls during a business lunch – often apologizing

and giving reasons, but in such a self-important ‘I’m so busy and indispensable’ manner that their ‘apology’ is

really a disguised boast. Their higher-ranking, more secure colleagues either leave their phones switched off or, if

they absolutely must keep them on for some reason, apologize in a genuine and often embarrassed, selfdeprecating

manner.

There are many other, much more subtle social uses of mobile phones, some of which do not even involve

talking on the phone at all – such as the competitive use of the mobile phone itself as a status-signal,

particularly among teenagers, but also in some cases replacing the car as a medium for macho ‘mine’s better than

yours’ displays among older males, with discussions of the relative merits of different brands, networks and

features taking the place of more traditional conversations about alloy wheels, nought-to-sixty, BHP, etc.

I have also noticed that many women now use their mobiles as ‘barrier signals’ when on their own in coffee

bars and other public places, as an alternative to the traditional use of a newspaper or magazine to signal

unavailability and mark personal ‘territory’. Even when not in use, the mobile placed on the table acts as an

effective symbolic bodyguard, a protector against unwanted social contact: women will touch the phone or pick

it up when a potential ‘intruder’ approaches. One woman explained: ‘You just feel safer if it’s there – just on the

table, next to your hand . . . Actually it’s better than a newspaper because it’s real people – I mean, there are

real people in there you could call or text if you wanted, you know? It’s sort of reassuring.’ The idea of one’s

social support network of friends and family being somehow ‘inside’ the mobile phone means that even just

touching or holding the phone gives a sense of being protected – and sends a signal to others that one is not

alone and vulnerable. COMMENT

This example provides an indication of the more important social functions of the mobile phone. I’ve written

about this issue at great length elsewhere, but it is worth explaining briefly here. The mobile phone has, I

believe, become the modern equivalent of the garden fence or village green. EXPLAIN The space-age technology of mobile

phones has allowed us to return to the more natural and humane communication patterns of preindustrial society,

when we lived in small, stable communities, and enjoyed frequent ‘grooming talk’ with a tightly integrated social

network of family and friends. In the fast-paced modern world, we had become severely restricted in both the

quantity and quality of communication with our social network. Most of us no longer enjoy the cosiness of a

gossip over the garden fence. We may not even know our neighbours’ names, and communication is often limited

to a brief, slightly embarrassed nod, if that. Families and friends are scattered, and even if our relatives or friends

live nearby, we are often too busy or too tired to visit. We are constantly on the move, spending much of our

time commuting to and from work either among strangers on trains and buses, or alone and isolated in our cars.

These factors are particularly problematic for the English, as we tend to be more reserved and socially inhibited

than other cultures; we do not talk to strangers, or make friends quickly and easily. WHAT ABOUT RUSSIANS? DO THEY CONFRONT SIMILAR PROBLEMS?

Landline telephones allowed us to communicate, but not in the sort of frequent, easy, spontaneous, casual

style that would have characterised the small communities for which we are adapted by evolution, and in which

most of us lived in pre-industrial times. Mobile phones – particularly the ability to send short, frequent, cheap

text messages – restore our sense of connection and community, and provide an antidote to the pressures and

alienation of modern urban life. They are a kind of ‘social lifeline’ in a fragmented and isolating world. COMMENT

Think about a typical, brief ‘village-green’ conversation: ‘Hi, how’re you doing?’ ‘Fine, just off to the shops –

oh, how’s your Mum?’ ‘Much better, thanks’ ‘Oh, good, give her my love – see you later’. If you take most of the

vowels out of the village-green conversation, and scramble the rest of the letters into ‘text-message dialect’

(HOW R U? C U L8ER), to me it sounds uncannily like a typical SMS or text exchange: not much is said – a

friendly greeting, maybe a scrap of news – but a personal connection is made, people are reminded that they are

not alone. Until the advent of mobile text messaging, many of us were having to live without this kind of small

but psychologically and socially very important form of communication. EXPRESS YOUR VIEW

But this new form of communication requires a new set of unspoken rules, and the negotiations over the

formation of these rules are currently causing a certain amount of tension and conflict – particularly the issue of

whether mobile text is an appropriate medium for certain types of conversation. Chatting someone up, flirting by

text is accepted, even encouraged, but some women complain that men use texting as a way of avoiding talking.

‘Dumping’ someone by text-message is widely regarded as cowardly and absolutely unacceptable, but this rule

has not yet become firmly established enough to prevent some people from ending relationships in this manner.

WHAT PROBLEMS IN CONNECTION WITH MOBILE PHONE (ETIQUETTE INCLUDED) HAVE YOU FACED?

PRESENTATION

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