Hitting the Right Note: Style and Register

1. Register

It is very difficult to maintain the right register consistently when writing in a foreign language. Be aware of this, and be cautious.

Most of the texts we translate are commercial, technical and legal documents, where the style is formal. Verbs must be written in full: does not, not "doesn't". Colloquialisms should be avoided: children, not "kids", things, not "stuff. More examples:

Formal	Colloquial
receive/obtain	get
until	till
also	as well/too
must	have to
in any case	anyway
previously	before
many, much, a great deal of	lots of, a lot of

Newspaper articles can be less formal, but if you are not a native speaker, I would be wary of using slang.

A transcription of speech (e.g. an interview) is the biggest challenge, as it must sound like natural speech. This is the only time I would use contracted verb forms like doesn't, can't.

Обращения (salutations) such as Дорогие клиенты!, Дорогие читатели!, Дорогие

друзья!, Дамы и господа! etc. are very common in Russian prose but hardly used at

all in written English. I am often tempted to leave them out altogether.

Right at the beginning of a book or magazine, we could turn the salutation into a

welcome:

♦ Уважаемые читатели журнала «Казахстан-2003»!: Welcome to Kazakhstan-2003 Magazine!

In the middle of an article, readers (without the "dear") can be used:

♦ Это Скифский стиль, ребята.: That, readers, is Scythian style. (Sometimes journalists use the archaic "gentle reader", generally for ironic effect.)

Some Clichés Used in Letters

Сообщаем/Доводим до Вашего сведения, что...: We are writing to inform/advise you that... (In an informal note, office memo or e-mail, just leave it out.)

О... сообщим дополнительно.: We will let you know about... in due course.

Надеемся на будущее сотрудничество.: We look forward to working with you in the future.

Просим (Вас) + Inf.: Please...

Приносим свои извинения за причиненные неудобства.: We apologize for the inconvenience (caused).

In invitations: имеет честь пригласить...: requests the pleasure of the company of.

2. Statistics

Many articles and reports written in Russian quote a lot of statistics, so it is worth studying how we write about them in English.

около, ориентировочно: about, around, approximately, roughly, some еще около $68 млн.: a further $68 million or so порядка: in the region of

Comparing figures:

♦ на 28 млн. т. меньше уровня 1989 года: 28m tonnes less than in 1989

♦ ... возрос против 1997 г. на 10 млн. тенге: ... is 10 million tenge higher than in 1997 (has increased by 10 million tenge since 1997).

♦ ..., что выше показателя аналогичного периода прошлого года на 5,3%: which is 5.3% more than in the same period last year.

♦ Коэффициент составил 4%, по сравнению с прошлым годом возрос на 3,7%.: The ratio was 4%, up 3.7% on the previous year (which is 3.7% higher than last year).

♦ В 2001 г. уровень добычи нефти в Казахстане по сравнению с 1990 г. возрос в 1.54 раза, по сравнению с 1991 г. - в 1.49 раз.: 2001 oil production in Kazakhstan is 1.54 times higher than in 1990 and 1.49 times higher than in 1991.

♦ Это предприятие до 2005 года планирует увеличить объем газодобычи до 1,2-1,4 млрд. кубометров с 900 млн. кубометров в этом году: This venture plans to increase gas production from 900 million cubic metres this year to 1.2-1.4 billion cubic meters by 2005.

♦ в % к предыдущему году: as a percentage of the previous year

Number of times:

увеличивать(ся) в 2, 3, 4 раза: to double, treble/triple, quadruple увеличивать(ся) в 5 раз: to increase five times (fivefold, by a factor of five)

♦ Общая численность безработных граждан в малых городах за последние пять лет возросла в три раза, зарегистрированных в полтора раза.: The total number of unemployed citizens in small towns has tripled over the last five years, and the number who are registered as unemployed has risen one and a half times.

Два раза = twice (not "two times"). However, thrice is rarely used nowadays, and certainly not in business English.

20 минимальных заработных плат: 20 times the minimum wage.

Объём помещения должен быть не менее 20-кратного объёма электросварочного передвижного агрегата: The premises must be at least 20 times larger than the movable electric welding machine.

доля: Доля Казахстана в структуре мировых доказанных запасов нефти составила 0.8%, в странах СНГ - 12.2%: Kazakhstan had 0.8% of the world's and 12.2% of the CIS's proven oil reserves.

по: Ho 16,6% долевого участия в проекте имеют "Эни Аджип", "Бритиш Газ" и "Эксон Мобил": ENI Agip, British Gas and ExxonMobil each have a 16.6% interest in the project.

Прогнозные ресурсы оцениваются отечественными экспертами, по нефти - в 12 млрд. тонн, газовому конденсату - в 1.6 млрд. тонн, природному газу - в 5.9 трлн. куб. метров.: Kazakhstani experts estimate predicted reserves at 12 billion tonnes of oil, 1.6 billion tonnes of gas condensate, and 5.9 trillion cubic meters of natural gas.

Rankings:

♦ Казахстан сегодня занимает 15-е место в мире по разведанным запасам природного газа и 4-е - среди стран СНГ: Kazakhstan currently has the 15th largest explored natural gas reserves in the world and the fourth largest in the CIS.

♦ Этот завод второй по величине после России на пространстве СНГ: This is the second largest plant in the CIS after Russia's.

На сумму:

♦ контракт на сумму $7,8 млн.: а $7.8 million contract, or a contract worth $7.8 million, or a contract in the amount of $7.8 million

♦ оборудование на общую сумму около $70-80 млн.: equipment worth a total of around $70-80 million

♦ денежные премии в размере $500: cash prizes of $500