English Grammar Workbook for "dummies" - Geraldine Woods

Chapter 18: Practicing Parallel Structure 235

Parallel or nonparallel? Take a look at the following sentences. If they’re parallel, write “correct” in the blanks. If they aren’t, correct them.

Q. The bird both swooping over my head and the surprise in the garbage pail startled me.

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A. Both the bird that swooped over my head and the surprise that I found in the garbage pail startled me. In the original sentence, swooping over my head and surprise in the garbage pail don’t match. The first element has a verb (swooping), and the second doesn’t. The corrected version matches bird that swooped to surprise that I found.

31.When she traveled to the biker convention, Lola intended to show off both her new Harley and to display her new tattoo.

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32. Either Lulu would accompany Lola or stay home to work on a screenplay about bikers.

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33. Neither Lulu plans ahead nor Lola.

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34. Lola not only writes screenplays about bikers but about alien invasions also.

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35.Lulu both is jealous of Lola’s writing talent and the award for “best cycle” on Lola’s trophy wall.

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36. Lola scorns not only awards but also refuses to enter most contests.

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37. Neither the cycling award nor the trophy for largest tattoo has significance for Lola.

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Chapter 18: Practicing Parallel Structure 237

Answers to Parallelism Problems

aThe ski pants that Robert favors are green, skin tight, and stretchy. The original sentence links two adjectives (green and skin-tight) with a verb form (made of stretch fabric). Two adjectives + one verb form = penalty box. The corrected version relies on three adjectives (green, skin-tight, and stretchy) to describe Robert’s favorite pants. (In case you’re wondering why he finds it hard to get a date, think about his wardrobe.)

bWhen he eases into those pants and zips up with great difficulty, Robert feels cool. The original sentence isn’t parallel because the and joins two verbs (eases and zipping) that don’t match. In the corrected version, and links eases and zips. In fact, these verb forms are so well suited to each other that they planned a date for Saturday night. Another possible correction: Easing into those pants and zipping up with great difficulty, Robert feels cool. Now easing parallels zipping.

cIn this ski outfit, Robert can breathe only with great difficulty and loudness. The original sentence matches up difficulty (a noun) and loudly (a description). These two are headed for the divorce court. The correction pairs two nouns (difficulty and loudness).

dThe sacrifice for the sake of fashion is worth the trouble and discomfort, Robert says. The clunker (the original sentence) joins a noun, trouble, and a whole clause (that’s the grammar term for a subject/verb combo), how he feels uncomfortable. Not parallel! The correction links two nouns, trouble and discomfort.

e correct. The sentence yokes two -ing forms (sliding and coasting). Verdict: legal.

fRobert has often been known to object to secondhand clothing and used equipment. You’re okay with two nouns (clothing and equipment). You’re not okay with a noun (clothing) and a clause (how some equipment is used), which is what you had in the original sentence.

g“With a good parka or a warm face mask, I’m ready for anything,” he says. The or in the original sentence links with a good parka and wearing a warm face mask. The second term includes a verb form (wearing), and the first doesn’t, so you know that the parallelism is off. In the correction, parka and face mask are linked. Because they’re both nouns, the parallelism works.

hThe face mask is useful on the slopes and does double duty in bank robberies. The original sentence isn’t parallel because is useful and doing don’t match. The corrected sentence pairs is and does, two verbs, so it’s fine.

iThe ski pants can also be recycled, if they are ripless and clean. Ripless is an adjective, but without stains is a phrase. Penalty box! The corrected version has two adjectives (ripless and clean).

jHowever, bank robbery and simple street muggings are more difficult in ski pants. In the correction I match two nouns (robbery and muggings), but you could also go for two infinitives (to rob a bank and to mug someone). Just be sure the two subjects have the same grammatical identity.

kRobbers need speed and privacy, but they also need pockets. The original sentence falls off the parallel tracks because speed is a noun and to be private is an infinitive. The correction joins two nouns, speed and privacy.

lHow to stash stolen money and where to put an unwanted ski mask are important issues.

In the correction, the subjects are both clauses; that is, they’re both expressions containing subjects and verbs. (Think of a clause as a mini-sentence that can sometimes, but not always, stand alone.) Two clauses = legal pairing. The original sentence derails because the first subject (stashing stolen money) is a gerund, and the second is based on an infinitive (to put).

238 Part V: Writing with Style

mRobert, who is actually quite honest and not inclined to rob anyone, nevertheless thinks about crime and fashion. The original sentence links a plain-vanilla-no-sprinkles description

(honest) with an -ing verb form (not having the inclination to rob anyone). No sale. The answer matches two descriptions, honest and inclined.

nHe once wrote and edited a newsletter called Crimes of Fashion. The answer matches two past tense verbs, wrote and edited. The original matched a past (wrote) and a past perfect (had edited) without any valid reason for a different tense, so it wasn’t parallel.

oTo ski and to pursue a career in law enforcement are Robert’s dreams. Pair two infinitives (to ski and to pursue) and you’re fine. Or, pair skiing and pursuing for an alternate correct answer.

pIf you’ve studied biology, you know that a person must learn the names of hundreds, if not thousands, of organisms. The original sentence shifts from anyone (third person) to you (second person). The correction stays in second. Another possible fix pairs anyone with he or she knows — all third-person forms.

q correct. Two questions. No shifts, no problem.

rThe Amoeba Family provides a good example of the process, so I will explain its name. The original sentence shifts unnecessarily from active (provides) to passive (will be explained). The corrected sentence stays in active voice. True, it contains a shift from third person (talking about the Amoeba Family) to first, but that shift is justified by meaning.

sYou may not know that the first example of this single-celled organism was named Amy.

The original sentence shifts inappropriately from present tense (may not know) to conditional (would have). The tenses in the correction make more sense; the first part is present and the second past, because you may not know right now about something that happened previously. The shift is there, but it’s justified by meaning. The correction has another shift, also justified, from active (may not know) to passive (was named). Because the person giving the name is unknown, the passive must be used.

tWhen they split in half, the new organisms name themselves. The question sentence is nonparallel because it moves from the second person you to the third person organisms. The correction stays in third person (talking about someone), with they and organisms.

uThe right half of Amy still called herself Amy, but the left half now called herself Bea. In the original, the extra by in the first half of the sentence unbalances the sentence. The correction eliminated the problem by making both parts of the sentence active.

vThe next time Amy and Bea split, they formed four new organisms. Parallel statements should stay in one person, in this case third person, talking about Amy, Bea, and they.

wNo one can imagine a conference between four single-celled organisms unless he or she witnesses it. The issue here is singular/plural pronouns. The original sentence begins with the singular no one and then shifts illegally to they, a plural. The correction begins with singular (no one again) and stays singular (he or she).

xAmy Right Half favored a name that people would notice. The first verb in the original is past, but the second shifts illogically to the future. Penalty box. In the correction, the past tense favored is matched with a conditional (would notice), but that change is logical because Amy is attaching a condition to her choice of name.

yAmy Left Half thought about the choice for so long that she neglected her swimming. Why change from active (thought) to passive (was neglected)? Two actives work better.

Chapter 18: Practicing Parallel Structure 239

ABea Right Half, a proto-feminist, opted for “Amy-Bea,” because she wanted to honor both her parents. The original sentence has a meaningless tense shift, from past (opted) to present (wants). The correction stays in past tense (opted, wanted).

BEveryone always pronounced “Amy-Bea” very fast, and soon “Amoeba” was the preferred spelling. The original sentence shifts from singular (everyone) to plural (their). The answer avoids the problem by dropping the second pronoun entirely.

CSingle-celled organisms should have simple names that biology students can remember. The shift from active in the original (should have) to passive (can be remembered) isn’t a good idea. The verbs in the correction (should have, can remember) stay active, jogging for at least an hour a day.

DBea Left Half, by the way, will change her name to Amy-Bea when she reaches the age of seventeen days. The original contains an illogical tense shift. The first verb is future (will change) and the second is past (reached), placing the sentence in some sort of time warp and out of the realm of parallel structure. In the correction, both actions are in the future (will change, when she reaches).

EYou know what teenagers are like; they always have to assert their identities. The corrected sentence stays in plural (teenagers, they), but the original improperly shifts from singular (a teenager) to plural (they).

FWhen she traveled to the biker convention, Lola intended both to show off her new Harley and to display her new tattoo. The paired conjunction here is both/and. The correction pairs two infinitives (to show off and to display), in contrast to the original sentence, which joins a noun (her new Harley) and an infinitive (to display her new tattoo).

GLulu would either accompany Lola or stay home to work on a screenplay about bikers. The elements joined by either/or in the original sentence don’t match. One is a subject-verb combo (Lulu would accompany) and one just a verb (stay). The new version links two verbs (accompany and stay).

HNeither Lulu nor Lola plans ahead. The corrected sentence links two nouns (Lulu, Lola) with the neither/nor conjunction pair. The original sentence fails the parallelism test because it links a subject-verb (Lulu plans) with a noun (Lola).

ILola writes screenplays not only about bikers but about alien invasions also. The original isn’t parallel because the first element joined by not only/but also includes a verb (writes) but the second doesn’t. The new version joins two prepositional phrases.

JLulu is jealous of both Lola’s writing talent and the award for “best cycle” on Lola’s trophy wall. Here you’re working with both/and. In the original sentence both precedes is, a verb, but no verb follows the and. In the correction, each half of the conjunction pair precedes a noun

(talent, award).

KLola not only scorns awards but also refuses to enter most contests. The conjunction pair, not only/but also, links two verbs in the answer sentence (scorns, refuses). The original sentence joins a noun, awards, to a verb, scorns. Mismatch!

Lcorrect. The neither/nor combo precedes two nouns in the sentence (award, trophy). Verdict: parallel.

MLulu, on the other hand, wants both the cycling award and the trophy. In the original sentence, both comes before a verb (wants), but and precedes a noun (trophy). Penalty box. The new version does better, linking two nouns (award, trophy).

240 Part V: Writing with Style

NNot only did Lulu bribe the judges, but she also ran a full-page ad bragging about herself.

The two conjunctions (not only/but also) link subject-verb combos in the corrected version (did Lulu bribe, she ran), but in the original these conjunctions link a subject-verb and a verb (did Lulu bribe, ran). Verdict: Five to ten in the grammar penitentiary.

OEither the judges were unimpressed with Lulu’s efforts or they liked Lola better. The either/ or pair in the corrected sentence connects two complete sentences (the judges were unimpressed and they liked Lola better). In the original, a description (unimpressed) incorrectly follows either, but a verb (liked) follows or.

PYou may change complaining to to complain, as I did, or you may change to be to being. Either way makes a parallel sentence.

QA person is singular, but they is plural. I change they to the singular he or she, but if you want to keep they, you may scrap a person and insert people instead.

R Each part of the not only/but also pair should precede a prepositional phrase.

SThe and may link was and took, two verbs, but not a verb (was) and a subject-verb combo (he took). Another way to correct this sentence is to select an adjective to replace he took my complaint lightly — dismissive, flippant, disrespectful, or a similar word. Then the verb was precedes two adjectives, rude and dismissive, perhaps.

TAfter the correction, each half of the conjunction pair either/or precedes a noun. In the original, the either comes before a verb (be) and the or before a noun.

Chapter 18: Practicing Parallel Structure 241

UThe original sentence switches from active (I demand) to passive (be taken . . . by you). The corrected version avoids the shift.

VThe original shifts from present perfect tense (have written) to future (will say) for no good reason. The correction is in past tense, but that tense is justified by the meaning of the sentence.

WAngry is an adjective, but in the mood is a phrase. Ready, an adjective, makes the sentence parallel.

XEither two infinitives (my correction) or two -ing forms (Moving and canceling) are acceptable here, but not one of each.

YTwo infinitives (to cooperate, to fire) are legal, as are two subject-verb combinations (that you will cooperate and that you will fire) but not one of each.

242 Part V: Writing with Style

Chapter 19

Spicing Up and Trimming

Down Your Sentences

In This Chapter

Creating interesting sentence structures

Combining sentences by subordinating

Reversing standard order

Examining repetition and awkward wording

As I write this, the rain beats down on my window. How glad I am not to be outside! Smiling, I type away, dry and cozy.

Compare the above paragraph to the next paragraph:

I am writing. The rain beats down on my window. I am glad that I am not outside. I am smiling. I type away. I am dry and cozy.

Okay, admit it. The first version is better. Why? Because variety is not only the spice of life but the spice of writing as well. In this chapter you practice adding variety to your sentences by altering the underlying structure and combining ideas. You also get some scissor practice by cutting repetitive or awkward expressions.

Beginning with a Bang: Adding

Introductory Elements

The spine of most English sentences is subject-verb: Mary walks, Oliver opens, and so forth. Most sentences also have some sort of completion, what grammarians call a complement or an object: Mary walks the dog, Oliver opens the peanut butter.

Even when you throw in some descriptions, this basic skeleton is boring if it’s the only structure you ever use. The easiest and most effective way to change the basic pattern is to add an introductory element, which is italicized in the following examples:

Sticking her finger in the jar, Agnes curdled the peanut butter. (The introductory verb form tells something Agnes did.)

Despite the new polish on her nails, Agnes was willing to eat without a fork. (The introductory phrase gives information about Agnes’s willingness to get down and dirty with the peanut butter.)

When she was full, Agnes closed the jar. (The introductory statement has a subject and a verb, she was, and in grammar terms is a clause. Once again, you get more information about Agnes.)