English Grammar Workbook for "dummies" - Geraldine Woods
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264 Part V: Writing with Style
rless. It may take fewer employees to shelve the issue, but it takes less energy, because energy is singular.
s over. One year calls for over, the term for singulars.
tamount. The word material is singular, even though the term may refer to a ton of stuff, as in the material in my file cabinet that I don’t want to work on. Singular takes amount.
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between. In comparing two potential candidates for leadership awards, between is best.
fewer. Employees is a plural, so fewer does the job.
wamount. Here you’re talking about barking (yes, the boss barks too), so amount is needed for the singular term.
xAmong. If you’re looking at all the inhabitants of New York City, you’re talking about more than two people. Hence, among.
yRegardless of the teacher’s views on technology in the classroom, Mark sends an instant message to his brother. Irregardless is the Loch Ness Monster of formal English; it doesn’t exist. Substitute regardless.
AKevin doesn’t answer immediately, because he is in the middle of the sandbox. Another nonexistent expression is being that. Use because or as.
B“I’ll try to answer Mark after snack,” he thinks. The expression try and says that the speaker is going to do two things: try and answer. But the real meaning of the sentence is “try to answer.”
CThe teacher doesn’t want any distraction from the peanut butter cookies she has prepared, so she confiscates Kevin’s PDA, which sends and receives e-mail, keeps track of Kevin’s play dates, and handles instant messages. Double negatives are a no-no. Change doesn’t want no to doesn’t want any.
DKevin should have hidden his PDA until nap time. The expression should of sounds like should’ve, but should’ve is the contraction of should have, not should of.
EMark can hardly believe some of the stories Kevin tells about kindergarten. Can’t hardly is a double negative, which reverses the intended meaning of the sentence. Go with can hardly, which means that Mark thinks Kevin is exaggerating.
FMark remembers his own days in finger-paint land, which he should’ve treasured. The contraction should’ve is the short form of should have.
GBecause the third grade room is near the kindergarten, Mark could have walked out of the classroom and spoken directly to Kevin. Either could have or could’ve is fine, but stay away from could of.
Hcorrect. The expression can’t help is fine when it precedes the -ing form of the verb. Just don’t place it with but, because then you’ll have a double negative.
IBecause the day is almost over, Kevin asks the teacher to return his PDA. Delete being that wherever you find it; send in because instead.
Chapter 20: Steering Clear of Tricky Word Traps 265
J correct. In this sentence being is fine because it’s a verb, not a faulty substitute for because.
K“I can hardly wait until I’m in first grade,” he remarks. Can’t hardly, a double negative, flips your meaning. Can hardly says that waiting is a tough task.
L lies. The character, in suitably pale makeup, rests in bed, so lies is correct.
M sit. The doctor isn’t placing something else on the bed but instead making a lap. Go for sit.
N set. To place something somewhere calls for the verb set.
Olie, sit. Both of these spots call for personal body movements, not the placement of something else. To lie and to sit deal with plopping in bed, on the couch, or in a chair.
Plaid. Because the doctor placed the wreath, the verb of choice is to lay, and the past tense of to lay is laid.
Qlies. This one is a bit tricky. The doctor lays the wreath, but the wreath itself just lies (rests) there.
R sit. The lover will pull out a chair and sit in it, not place an object somewhere.
Slain. The lover has been stretched out in a bed, in the traditional soapy coma, so the verb must be a form of lie. The combo form of lie is lain.
Tsits. The doctor isn’t placing something, just staying in a chair, eating. The verb is to sit, and the form that matches doctor is sits.
Usometime. The sentence refers to a particular moment (knowing Jennifer, about an hour after the first achoo). Sometime means “at an unspecified time.”
Vsome time. You want to say “a period of time,” which, handily enough, is the meaning of some time.
W every day. Here you’re going for “daily,” so the two-word form does the job.
Xa lot. Never, never, never one word! Always two! No matter what you see printed on signs, awnings, and papers.
Yall ready. She had her briefcase, suitcase, computer case, and every other case prepared.
Hence, all ready.
zeveryday. Her ordinary handkerchief (thus her everyday handkerchief) isn’t as fancy as the silk number she carries when she’s dressed up.
Z
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every day. The meaning implied here is “every single day.”
already. Abigail means “by this time!”
2some time. Because Jennifer never remembers to remove all her piercing jewelry, it does indeed take a period of time (some time) to go through the metal detector.
3All right! I know, I know. You just opened a magazine and saw a headline with the “word” alright in it. Wrong. Wrong. Always wrong! It’s two words.
266 Part V: Writing with Style
Lloyd Demos Dies at 81: Specialized in Ancient Egypt
Lloyd Demos died yesterday as he was pursuing farther further study in
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ancient Egyptian culture. Demos, who effected affected the lives of many
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residents of our town, had alot a lot of varied interests. By the time he
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died he had all ready already learned 12 languages, including ancient
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Egyptian, and spent some time everyday every day studying Egyptian
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grammar so that his writing would be alright all right. Demos had just
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set sat down to supper when the Grim Reaper appeared at his door.
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Irregardless Regardless, Demos insisted on finishing his mashed
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potatoes, though he was heard to say, “I would like to lay lie down for a
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while.” Demos, who wrote over more than 50 books, will be fondly
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remembered.
4 Farther refers to distance; further is for time, intensity, or duration.
5Effected can be a verb, but as such it means “to be the sole agent of change.” In this sentence “influenced” is the more likely meaning, so affected is the one you want.
6 A lot is always written as two words.
7All ready as two words means “completely prepared,” but in this sentence you want “by this time,” which is the definition of already.
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Everyday as one word means “ordinary.” As two words, it means “daily,” the one you want here.
All right is always two words, never one.
0Sat is the past tense of sit, which is the verb you want for plopping your body in a chair. Set is to place something else somewhere else.
! Irregardless doesn’t exist, but regardless expresses the same idea.
@Lie is to rest or recline; lay (in the present tense) is to put something down somewhere. Demos wants to rest, so lie is appropriate.
# Fifty books is plural, so more than comes into play. Over is for singular terms.
Part VI
The Part of Tens
In this part . . .
The renowned Dummies Part of Tens gives you a list of “overcorrections,” mistakes people make when they’re
trying to speak or write with extreme formality and not quite managing to follow the rules of grammar. This part also shows you the worst, avoid-at-all-cost, common errors that can sink your writing faster than a torpedo from a nuclear sub. No exercises here — just the best tips for improving your English. Read on.
Chapter 21
Ten Overcorrections
In This Chapter
Avoiding overly formal or incorrect English
Putting a stop to unnecessary changes
English teachers recognize a certain tone of voice that comes into play the minute people learn that they’re talking to a grammarian. All of a sudden the eyes glaze over,
the chin lifts, and the grammar/style portion of the brain goes into overdrive. Who becomes whom for no reason at all. Verb tenses tangle up, and had is suddenly as common as shoulder pads at an ’80s party. Sadly, what I call “overcorrection” is as bad an error as whatever mistake it’s designed to avoid. If you want to identify these grammar and style potholes so that you can steer around them, read on.
Substituting “Whom” for “Who”
True, some uneducated people never utter the word whom, even when it’s needed in a sentence. But throwing whom into every situation isn’t a good idea either. Sentences requiring whom are actually quite rare. In fact, you need whom only when the sentence calls for an object of some sort. (Check out Chapter 10 for more information on who and whom.)
Objects receive the action of the verb, as in Whom did you call? In this sentence, whom receives the action of the verb did call. (You, in case you were wondering, is the subject.) The problem with whom is that when it does show up, it’s often in a sentence containing other thoughts, so you have to sort out the various threads. One common error: Whom shall I say is calling? Sounds nice, right? But it’s wrong. Untangling shows you why: I shall say whom is calling. Whom is calling? Nope. Who is calling.
Inserting Unnecessary “Had’s”
As a helping verb, had is very good (hangs out in all the best clubs, does community service without a court order, and so on). But it shouldn’t be overused. Had places an action in the past before another action in the past, as in this sentence: Archie had already shaved when the aerosol can exploded. On a timeline, the shaving precedes the exploding, and both precede the present moment. Bingo. The shaving part of the sentence gets the had. The overcorrection comes when people sprinkle had’s all over, without rhyme or reason: Archie had already shaved when the aerosol can had exploded.
270 Part VI: The Part of Tens
Throwing in “Have” at Random
Another helping verb, have, shows up where it has no business, I suspect because it makes the sentence sound more complicated and therefore somehow more “advanced.” Like last year’s style at a fashionable club, an unnecessary have stands out, but not in a good way. The have error I hear the most is Nice to have met you. Oh really? The have places the meeting in the past, before another, present action. So nice to have met you implies some sort of deadline, as in nice to have met you before our wedding or nice to have met you before it was time for me to clip your toenails. The better expression is nice to meet you
(now, in the present, as we talk).
Sending “I” to Do a “Me” Job
Me sounds childlike, doesn’t it? It conjures up memories of “Me Tarzan!” and similar statements. But I isn’t the personal pronoun for every sentence. I is a subject pronoun, so it belongs in a subject spot — or after a linking verb — and nowhere else. An error that pops up frequently is I as the object of a preposition: between you and I or except you and I. Penalty box! The correct phrases are between you and me and except you and me.
Speaking or Writing Passively
The government, in my humble opinion, is to blame for this particular overcorrection. Official forms tend to throw passive verbs all over the place, perhaps because passive voice allows the writer to omit the subject — the doer, and therefore the one responsible — for the action. How much safer it must feel to write the taxes were tripled yesterday rather than I tripled your taxes yesterday; now please vote for me. But passive voice comes across as stilted. Unless you need it (perhaps because you truly don’t know who did the action or because the subject isn’t the point of the sentence), opt for active voice.
Making Sentence Structure Too Complicated
Hey, I can handle complications. I live in New York, where buying an apartment involves a twoor three-inch pile of official forms, each of which must be signed in triplicate. But complicated sentences (which abound in the pile of forms I just mentioned) don’t make your writing look more mature. They just make your writing awkward. Stay away from sentences like It was this treaty that ended the war and substitute This treaty ended the war. Run from That which he discovered yesterday is the invention which will make his fortune and toward The invention he discovered yesterday will make his fortune.
Letting Descriptions Dangle
Description is good, especially when you’re agreeing to a blind date with someone you’ve never met. (Think of the sentence Howie is pleasantly plump, in which pleasantly plump tells you something important about Howie.) Descriptions containing verb forms are good too, because they give you even more information: Howie, howling at the moon as he does every
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evening, is happy to double date. The description howling at the moon as he does every evening is certainly an eye-opener, giving you a lot of information about Howie. Descriptions in the beginning of a sentence are especially good, because they vary the usual, boring sentence pattern: Running with his friend Wolfie, Howie often stays out all night. The description running with his friend Wolfie tells you something about Howie that you probably should know.
But — and this is a big but — don’t overuse the introductory description, or you’ll simply create a new, but immediately boring, sentence pattern. Also, be sure that the introductory description applies to the subject — the first person mentioned in the sentence. If not, you have a dangler, a truly big no-no.
Becoming Allergic to “They” and “Their”
For some writers, the pronouns they and their seem to be radioactive. Because many writers make the mistake of pairing the plural their with something singular (say, a person or everybody), overcorrectors do the opposite. Even when a plural is justified, these writers send in he or she and similar phrases. Bad idea! Plurals (the guys, three grapefruits, both, several, a few, and so on) match with other plurals (they and their). So don’t write The kids blew off his or her homework and blamed the dog. Instead, keep the plurals together: The kids blew off their homework and blamed the dog.
Being Semi-Attached to Semicolons
Semicolons (the dot on top of the comma) link two complete sentences. They also separate items in a list, when at least one of the listed items contains a comma already. But that’s it for the semicolon. It isn’t a fancy comma or a weak colon. It’s a semicolon and proud to be one. (National Semicolon Day is next week.) Why am I talking about semicolons? Because too many people throw them around like dog treats at a kennel. Don’t; throw them around. Oops. I mean Don’t throw them around.
Not Knowing When Enough Is Enough
I’m a writing teacher, and as much as anyone else in the field, I’m guilty of asking for more, more, and did I mention I want to see more detail? So when some poor kid hands me a paper about an apple, I’m there with my red pen (teachers’ revenge color), writing What color is the apple? How many seeds does it have? In the real world, however, I’m not particularly interested in reading 15 sentences about an apple when all I want to know is who threw it at my head when I was returning graded essays. The cure for underexplaining isn’t overexplaining. The best path is to provide interesting and relevant details and nothing more. And if your readers wander around wondering how many seeds were in that apple, that’s their problem.
272 Part VI: The Part of Tens
Chapter 22
Ten Errors to Avoid at All Cost
In This Chapter
Mistakes that ruin your writing
Relying too heavily on computers
What did you forget? Your lunch? A parachute? I ask these questions to point out that some mistakes are worse than others. If the plane is going down, I personally am
willing to forgo the peanut butter and jelly, but not that handy little life-saving device.
Your writing can crash also, especially if you err in a few specific ways. Ten ways, actually, which I explain here. Everyone makes mistakes, but this chapter shows you how to avoid the big ones.
Writing Incomplete Sentences
Unless, of course, you want to make a style point. I pause to acknowledge that the preceding sentence is incomplete. That’s my attempt at irony and also my way of pointing out that sometimes breaking the rules is a good thing. In a forest of complete sentences, an occasional incomplete statement calls attention to an important point. However, a forest of incomplete sentences is not a style; it’s just poor English and calls into question whether you know how to fashion a complete sentence. That’s a bad impression to give your reader. Be sure that each of your sentences has a subject-verb pair, an endmark, and a complete thought. (For more information on complete sentences, take a look at Chapter 4.)
Letting Sentences Run On and On
A run-on sentence is actually two or more sentences stuck together without any legal “glue” — a word such as and or a semicolon. The worst form of run-on is what grammarians call a comma splice, in which a comma attempts (and fails) to attach one complete sentence to another. Be especially careful with words that resemble legal joiners (consequently, however, therefore, nevertheless, and so forth). Use them for the meaning, but not for glue. (Chapter 4 explains run-ons in greater detail.)
Forgetting to Capitalize “I”
Nothing screams louder than a sentence like Do you realize that i am yours forever? I’m not even going to discuss i M yours 4ever. If you write this way, fine. I wish you a happy life. Ditto if you put a little circle on top of the i instead of a dot. You and I will have to agree to go our separate ways. But even if you don’t go that far, you risk alienating the reader by breaking so basic a rule. The personal pronoun I is always capped. Period.