Unit 5 Concrete Support

A bit of theory! One of the biggest problems in student writing is that student writers often fail to prove their points. They fail because they do not support their points with concrete details. Their papers are too often full of opinions and generalizations without the factual details needed to support them. A successful paragraph contains concrete support for the topic sentence. Support your topic sentence by using specific and factual details. Facts are objective statements of truth. Ex., At sea level, water boils at 100 degrees Celsius.

Women live longer than men.

Lung cancer among women is increasing.

Opinions are subjective statements based on a person’s beliefs or attitudes.

Ex., Men are better drivers than women.

Engineering students do not need to take a lot of English courses.

Americans are only superficially friendly.

Task 1 Decide whether each of the following statements is a fact or an opinion.

1. Smoking is relaxing and, therefore, enjoyable.

2. Dr. Kathleen Parker, a well-known cancer specialist, recently admitted in an interview, “Although I see the harmful effects of smoking nearly every day in my work, I still enjoy relaxing with a cigarette after dinner.”

3. Early in the next decade, more women than men will die of lung cancer, according to the American cancer Society.

4. Smoking is attracting more and more adults.

5. According to a recent New York Times article, cigarette smoking is increasing among adults in their forties as well as among the college educated and those earning more than $35,000 annually.

6. Red-light runners must take a driver’s education class. Then they will become safer drivers.

7. Red-light runners cause scores of accidents, including deaths and injuries as well as millions of dollars in damages.

8. Nationwide, the number of red-light running accidents increased 18 percent from 1991 through 1995. In 1991, 2,425 deaths resulted, and in 1995, the number rose to 2,866.

There are several kinds of concrete supporting details that you can use to support or prove your topic sentence. Among the most common are examples, statistics, and quotations. Using quotations and writing paraphrasing and summaries of information from outside sources are important tools in academic writing. To write your research papers, you must find information about your topic in books, periodicals, encyclopedias, and similar sources. It is important to learn how to use information from outside sources without committing plagiarism.

1. Quotations. There are two types of quotations: direct and indirect. In a direct quotation, another person’s exact words are repeated and are enclosed in quotation marks.

Reporting Verbs and Phrases are as follows

According to insist report suggest

Claim maintain say write

Declare mention state

Here are some rules for their use:

1. Reporting verbs can appear before, in the middle of, or after a quotation

Dr. Karsten said, “___________________.” “________________,” the doctor stated,”__________________.” “__________________,” declared the president of the International Olympic Committee (IOC)

2. Reporting verbs can be used with or without the subordinator as.

As a spokesperson for the IOC suggested, “______________________.”

A spokesperson for the IOC suggested,”_________________________.”

3. Reporting verbs may be in any tense.

As the IOC stated in its report after the 1996 games in Atlanta, “_______.”

The IOC states in its report after the 1996 games in Atlanta, __________.”

As the IOC has always insisted,”_______________________________.”

4. The reporting phrase according to can be used in place of a reporting verb. Use quotation marks if you are quoting someone’s words exactly.

According to the OIC,”________________________.”

In indirect quotations, the speaker’s (or writer’s) words are reported indirectly. Indirect quotations are introduced by the same reporting verbs. The tense of verbs in indirect quotations is affected by the tense of the reporting verb. To change a direct quotation to an indirect quotation:

1. Omit the quotation marks.

2. Add the subordinator that (You may omit that if the meaning is clear.)

3. Change the verb tense if necessary. Follow the sequence of tenses rules.

4. Change pronouns if necessary.

Good writers use both direct and indirect quotations.

Task 2 Read the model paragraph and find the one indirect quotation. Does it follow the sequence of tenses rule? Change all of the direct quotations in the paragraph into indirect quotations.

Drugs and the Olympic Games

It is no secret that performance-enhancing drugs have been used by Olympic athletes for decades. In 1993, the head of the International Olympic Committee’s medical commission, Prince Alexandre de Merode of Belgium, stated, “I believe that as many as 10% of all Olympic athletes are regular users of performance-enhancing drugs” (qtd. in Bamberger and Yager 63). Despite rigorous drug testing of Olympic athletes, the use of banned performance-enhancing substances has become more widespread than ever. It is clear that if athletes want to win, they must consider using drugs. In a 1997 article in Sports Illustrated magazine, Dutch physician Michel Karsten is quoted as saying, “there may be some sportsmen who can win gold medals without taking drugs but there are very few.” According to Dr.Karsten, who says he has prescribed anabolic steroids to hundreds of world-class athletes over the last twenty-five years,” If you are specially gifted, you may win once, but from my experience you cannot continue to win without drugs. The field is just too filled with drug users.” (qtd. in Bamberger and Yager 62).

Task 3 Write a short paragraph that develops the topic you are given below. Use the quotations for support. You may use them either as direct or indirect quotations. Include some additional supporting sentences and transition signals to connect the ideas and make your paragraph flow smoothly.

1) Topic sentence The increased use of computers in business has been accompanied by a costly increase in computer crime.

Main point Computer criminals cost business a lot of money.

Quotation “The financial losses to business from computer thefts will exceed $15 billion in 1998.”

Main point Computer criminals steal not only money but also information.

Quotation “It’s not just the money they steal; they steal data, and data is power.”

Source A book by Meredith Bruce, Cybercrime, page 185

2) Topic sentence Computer cannot be compared to human brains.

Main point The human brain is more powerful than any computer.

Quotation “It has been estimated that the information processing capacity of even the most powerful supercomputer is equal to the nervous system of a snail – a tiny fraction of the power available to the supercomputer inside the human skull.”

Main point The kinds of processing are different, too.

Quotation “Computers find it easy to remember a 25-digit number but find it hard to summarize the gist of [children’s story] “Little Red Riding Hood,” and humans find it hard to remember the number but easy to summarize the story.”

Main point Human brains also have the advantage of being inside humans.

Quotation “They [human brains] can soak up terabytes of information over the years as the human interact with other humans and with the environment.”

Source An article by Steven Pinker in U.S. News and World Report, August 18-25, 1997, page 64.

Task 4 Write a short paragraph that develops the topic you have chosen as the topic of your research. Add all the supporting details you can, such as examples, statistics, direct and indirect quotations. Don’t forget to mention the source of the quotations.

Unit 6

Paraphrasing and Summarizing

A bit of theory! Paraphrasing is a writing skill in which you “rephrase” (rewrite) information from an outside source in your own words without changing its meaning. Because you include in your rewriting all, or nearly all, of the content of the original passage, a paraphrase is almost as long. A summary, by contrast, is much shorter than the original. A summary includes only the main ideas of someone else’s writing, restated in your own words. When you summarize you compress large amount of information into the fewest possible sentences. In summarizing and paraphrasing, you must not change the meaning of the original.

When paraphrasing, it is important to avoid plagiarism. A paraphrase is unacceptable when it contains the same vocabulary and sentence structure as the original. The following model shows unacceptable and acceptable paraphrases.

Original Passage

Language is the main means of communication between peoples. But so many different languages have developed that language has often been a barrier rather that an aid to understand among peoples. For many years, people have dreamed of setting up an international language which all people could speak and understand. The arguments in favor of a universal language are simple and obvious. If all peoples spoke the same tongue, cultural and economic ties might be much closer, and good will might increase between countries (Kispert).

Unacceptable Paraphrase

Language is the principal means of communication between peoples. However, because there are numerous languages, language itself has frequently been a barrier rather than an aid to understanding among the world population. For many years, people have envisioned a common universal language that everyone in the world could communicate in. the reasons for having a universal language are clearly understandable. If the same tongue were spoken by all countries, they would undoubtedly become closer culturally and economically. It would probably also create good will among nations (Kispert).

Acceptable paraphrase

Human communicate through language. However, because there are so many languages in the world, language is an obstacle rather that an aid to communication. For a long time, people have wished for an international language that speakers all over the world could understand. A universal language would certainly build cultural and economic bonds. It would also crate better feelings among countries (Kispert).

The first paragraph is plagiarism. Even though the writer has changed many of the words, the sentence structure is very similar to the original. In the second paraphrase, both the vocabulary and sentence structure are different.

You can write a good paraphrase if you follow these steps:

1. Read the original passage several times until you understand it fully. Look up unfamiliar words and find synonyms for them. If you need to take notes, write down only one or two words for each idea – not complete sentences. For example, here are one writer notes on the original passage about universal language:

language-people use to communicate-but too many-obstacle-dream-international language-reasons: cultural, economic bonds, good feelings between countries.

2. Write your paraphrase from memory. Include as much of the information as you remember. Don’t look at the original while you are writing.

3. Check your paraphrase against the original for accuracy and completeness. If necessary, add point you have missed.

4. Name the source of the original passage in parentheses at the end of your paraphrase.

Summary

People communicate mainly through language; however, having so many different languages creates communication barriers. Some think that one universal language would bring countries culturally and economically and also increase good feelings among them (Kispert)

Compare this summary with the acceptable paraphrase. Notice that some details are omitted form the summary that were included in the paraphrase. The steps for writing a summary are the same as for writing a paraphrase.

A bit of theory! English frequently combines two (or more) nouns as a way of imparting a lot of information in a short space, for example:

Cancer ward = the hospital ward where people suffering from cancer are treated

Hospital consultant = a doctor who is a specialist and works in a hospital

Health services = doctors, hospitals and other places or people responsible for people’s health

Blood pressure gauge = an instrument which measures the force with which blood flows through your body

Task 1 What noun compounds would express these ideas?

1 a company which manufactures drugs

2 an operation to transplant a heart into someone else’s body

3 a patient who is suffering from cancer

4 an injury sustained in the leg

5 cuts in the amount of money which the government will spend on health

6 a man who enjoys spending time with his family

7 the hospital ward where people are taken when an emergency has occurred

8 waste emitted or discharge by a factory

9 an officer responsible for the safety of people working in a specific place

Task 1.1 Think of some more examples of noun compounds from the articles you have to read on your research.

Task 2 Skim-read these two texts. In terms of subject matter, whet do they have in common?

Text 1

During a clinical trial, two women with similar blood pressure levels are given the same dose of a new hypertension drug. One woman’s blood pressure returns to normal, but the other’s crashes to an abnormally low level and remains that way for the next six hours. The telling difference between these two women is a gene which determines how well 25 per cent of prescription drug will work.

Adverse reaction to drugs account for one in 15 hospital admissions and are a major cause of death, yet many harmful side effects could be predicted. Scientists have found that a substantial number of people have an inactive version of the gene CYP2D6 which produces a liver enzyme that helps the body to process many commonly-prescribed drugs. If this enzyme is deficient, a drug will either be metabolized too quickly and not do the work it was intended to do, or will not be processed at all, thus causing adverse reactions.

A simple test for the gene CYP2D6 is now being developed and should be available to General Practitioners (GP) very soon. By administering it, doctors will know whether a patient needs a different dose of a drug, or another medicine altogether. Tests for other genes involved in drug metabolism also exist but are more expensive and complicated to administer and so are currently used in only a few teaching hospitals and specialist academic centers. Nevertheless, many scientists believe the future of medicine lies in establishing and recording each patient’s genetic code on a DNA chip, so that all treatments with drugs, either in emergencies or in routine visits to the GP, can be safely tailored to the patient’s genetic make-up.

Text 2

Clinical trials of new medicines do not identify problems that may occur in a tiny minority of people. In Britain, a system of yellow cards and black triangles is intended to form a safety net to alert the authorities to unexpected harmful effects of medicines. A yellow card is the form a doctor sends to the Medicines Control Agency if he is concerned that a patient has had a serious side-effect from a particular drug. A black triangle appears on the information sheet sent to doctors by the manufacturer if a drug is less than two years old. Doctors are supposed to report all side-effect of black triangle drugs – not just the serious ones.

In fact, there are major problems with the safety net. A recent survey found that a quarter of information sheets on new drugs did not in fact carry the black triangle symbol. As doctors cannot be expected to know by heart which among the thousands of medicines available are new, the blame for non-reporting of side-effects from these drugs lies fair and square with the manufactures.

There are other weaknesses. Filling in a yellow form is voluntary. Some doctors fill in stacks, some hardly any - the average is less than one a year per doctor. It was recently suggested that patients themselves fill in yellow cards and send them to the MCA. This eminently sensible idea was rejected by the Department of Health, who responded that doctors were better placed than patients to make judgments on side-effects. If they or the MCA have a better solution for improving reporting procedures and thus safeguarding patients’ health, they should implement it now.

Task 2.1 Read the draft summary. The four content points have been correctly identified, but the draft is too long and exhibits some other faults.

Patients could be given a new test to see if they are deficient in the gene CYP2D6	1
which produces a liver enzyme that helps the body to process many commonly-	2
prescribed drugs. If this enzyme is deficient, a drug may not be processed at all and	3
can cause adverse reactions. In future, everyone’s genetic code will be recorded on	4
a DNA chip so that all treatments with drugs can be tailored to the patient’s genetic	5
make-up. In addition, companies which produce drugs should be stricter about	6
informing doctors that the medicines which they are selling are new, and the	7
procedures that are used for reporting side-effects should be improved.	8

Task 2.2 Choose Yes or No for each fault below. If you choose Yes for a fault, write in the numbers of the lines where this problem occurs.

1 Parts have been copied straight from the texts Yes No line(s) _______

2 More detail than necessary has been included Yes No line(s) _______

3 There are grammatical errors Yes No line(s) ______

4 Ideas could be put more succinctly Yes No line(s) ______

Task 2.3 Lines 1 to 3 of the draft are too similar to the text and it is not necessary to give so much detail. Answer these questions

1 What kind of test is it? (use noun + noun compound)

2 What does the test show a patient may or may not be able to do?

3 Find a synonym in Text 1 for the verb ‘process’.

4 Which of the following would be the best synonym for ‘commonly-prescribed’?

often prescribed normally prescribed frequently prescribed

Task 2.4

a) Rephrase ‘everyone’s genetic code will be recorded on a DNA chip’ by changing ‘code’ to a verb, and using the gerund of that verb: ‘genetic …… on DNA chips’

b) Rephrase ‘all treatments with drugs’ into two words only using a noun + noun compound

c) Find a synonym for the verb ‘tailored’

Task 2.5 In lines 6 to 8 several words could be cut out. Answer these questions.

1 What noun + noun compound means ‘companies which produce drugs’?

2 Cut out the superfluous words from the phrase ‘the medicines which they are selling are new’ and ‘the procedures that are used for reporting’.

Task 2.6 Insert your answers from tasks 2.4, 2.5, and 2.6 into the paraphrased summary below. You should end up with a total of 63 words.

Patients could be given a new ………………. Which shows whether they may be unable to …………. many ………….. drugs. In future, genetic ……… on DNA chips will allow ………….. to be ……….. to a patient’s genetic make-up. In addition, …………… should be stricter about informing doctors that ………and …………. side-effects should be improved.

Task 2.7 Write a summary of two passages from any articles you have to read on your research.

Unit 7

The Essay

A bit of theory! An essay is a piece of writing several paragraphs long instead of just one or two paragraphs. It’s written about one topic, just as a paragraph is. However, the topic of an essay is too complex to discuss in one or two paragraphs. Therefore, you must divide the topic into several paragraphs, one for each major point. Then you must tie all of the separate paragraphs together by adding an introduction and conclusion.

An essay has three main parts:

1. An introductory paragraph

2. A body (several paragraphs)

3. A concluding paragraph

A The introductory paragraph consists of two parts: a few general statements about your subject and a thesis statement to state the specific subdivisions of your topic and/or the “plan” of your paper. A thesis statement for an essay is like a topic sentence for a paragraph: it names the specific topic and major subdivisions of the topic. General statements introduce the topic of the essay and give background information on the topic. The first sentence in an introductory paragraph should be a very general comment about the subject. The thesis statement is the most important sentence in the introduction. It states the specific topic and lists the major subtopics that will be discussed I the body of the essay. Furthermore, it indicates the method of organization such as chronological order or order of importance.

Notice the two parts of the introductory paragraph in the following model.

Any person who has lived in the twentieth century has seen a lot of changes take place in almost all areas of human existence. Some people are excited by the challenges that these changes offer; others want to return to the simpler life-style of the past. The twenty first century has certain advantages such as a higher standard of living for many, but it also has some disadvantages such as a polluted environment, the depersonalization of human relationships, and the weakening of spiritual values.

Task 1 Analyze the following thesis statements. Locate the main topic and the subtopics in each of the following statements.

1 Capital punishment should be abolished not only because it deprives another person of life but also because it does not stop crime.

2 Women generally live longer than men for two main reasons: they tend to take better care of their health and they have better resistance to stress.

3 Drug and alcohol abuse among teenagers can be traced to the following causes: lack of parental supervision, lax enforcement of drug laws, and the social and psychological problems of teenagers themselves.

Task 2 Write the thesis statement for the topic of your research.

B The Concluding Paragraph is a summary of the main points discussed in the body of the essay or a restatement of your thesis in different words. Then you add your final comments on the subject – food for thought, based on the information you have provided.

Be sure to introduce the concluding paragraph with a conclusion transition signal.

Reread the model introductory paragraph. Then study the following concluding paragraph for the same essay. Is the concluding paragraph a summary of the main points of the essay, or is it a paraphrase of the thesis statement?

In short, although the twenty first century has indeed given some of us a lot of advantages by making us richer, healthier, and freer to enjoy our lives, it has, in my opinion, not made us wiser. The twenty first century has also made our earth dirtier, our people less humane, and our spiritual lives poorer. We wish to continue to enjoy the benefits of technological advancement because they free us to pursue our other interests and goals. However, we must take a concerted effort to preserve our natural environment for future generations. Moreover, we should take the time now to make our lives more meaningful in our increasingly impersonal and mechanized world.

Task 3 Write concluding paragraph for the following introduction. Summarize the main points or paraphrase the thesis statement. Be sure to begin with an expression signaling conclusion.