Safe and Unsafe Subjects for Talk

It is hard to generalize about conversation in the USA. Conversation is generally less lively than in the Latin countries, where everyone talks at once. When someone talks here, everyone is expected to listen, no matter how dull the talker may be.

In the search for conversational material, work is a good bet. In many countries, it is not seemly to ask, ‘What do you do?’ Not so here. We are so often defined by our work that we are happy to talk about it. But if work proves unproductive, you might try, ‘What do you do in your spare time?’

You can safely inquire about wives or husbands, children, geographical background, hobbies, and habits. Ethnicity is a subject of some interest, and Americans will inquire about the ancestry of others.

Politics is discussed among people who are in relative agreement, but when a group is far apart, politics becomes a subject to be avoided. On the whole, we dislike argument. If an argument breaks out, we try to smooth it over or break it up.

The best way to do so is to return to the harmless topics. Many of these are questions of taste. ‘Did you like such-and-such a movie? What do you think of the food at that new restaurant? How do you like the weather?’ Through discussing mutual likes and dislikes, we find out whether this is our kind of person. American society is classed by tastes as much as by anything else.

Compliments are always in order. ‘What a pretty dress... I love your earrings ... What a nice tie.’ (But not, ’How much did you pay?’) We keep the compliments flowing even with close friends and family. The recipient should accept the compliment graciously by looking very pleased and saying, ‘Oh, thank you.’ The tale of the item in question often provides further talk.

Most of the people will be glad to hear about your country and about your impressions of America. You can be frank. We’ve become accustomed to criticism in recent years, although of course it’s always tactful to mix a few positive comments in with the negative. (‘The bus stations are awful, and I hate the food, but the people are so friendly’.)

There are two subjects that may rapidly bring conversation to a halt: age and money. You also should not poke too obviously into someone’s class background. We worry about invading people’s privacy, and we also have the idea that foreigners aren’t used to personal inquiries.

When all other conversation fails, there are always sports and the children to fall back on. If you are male, an interest in the fortunes of the local football and baseball team may serve you well at parties.

What we have very little of are pre-cut conversational rites. Even when engaging in small talk, you have to make up your own lines.

(Culture Shock! USA. A Guide to Customs and Etiquette. Esther Wanning)

2 Make the list of safe and unsafe subjects for small talk. Use the information from the text and add some ideas of your own. Reason your choice.

Safe subjects	Unsafe subjects
_____________________________ _____________________________ _____________________________ _____________________________	______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________

Text 3

 1 Read the text and choose one of the titles for it or think of one of your own that would suit best.

1. WHEN IN ROME DO AS THE ROMANS DO.

2. PROBLEMS THAT BUSINESS PEOPLE FACE.

3. TRAVELLING ABROAD.

4. GOOD MANNERS, GOOD BUSINESS.

5. DOING BUSINESS IN EUROPE.

6. I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE RUDE!

Nobody actually wants to cause offence but, as business becomes ever more international, it is increasingly easy to get it wrong. There may be a single European market but it does not mean that managers behave the same in Greece as they do in Denmark.

In many European countries handshaking is an automatic gesture. In France good manners require that on arriving at a business meeting a manager shakes hands with everyone present. This can be a demanding task and, in a crowded room, may require gymnastic ability if the farthest hand is to be reached.

Handshaking is almost as popular in other countries including Germany, Belgium and Italy. But Northern Europeans, such as the British and Scandinavians, are not quite so fond of physical demonstration of friendliness.

In Europe the most common challenge is not the content of food, but the way you behave as you eat. Some things are just not done. In France it is not good manners to raise tricky questions of business over the main course. Business has its place: after the cheese course. Unless you are prepared to eat in silence you have to talk about something -something, that is, other than the business deal which you are continually chewing over in your head.

Italians give similar importance to the whole process of business entertaining. In fact, in Italy the biggest fear, as course after course appears, is that you entirely forget you are there on business. If you have the energy, you can always do the polite thing when the meal finally ends, and offer to pay. Then, after a lively discussion, you must remember the next polite thing to do - let your host pick up the bill.

In Germany as you walk sadly back to your hotel room you may wonder why your apparently friendly hosts have not invited you out for the evening. Don't worry, it is probably nothing personal. Germans do not entertain business people with quite the same enthusiasm as some of their European counterparts.

The Germans are also notable for the amount of formality they bring to business. As an outsider, it is often difficult to know whether colleagues have been working together for 30 years or have just met in the lift. If you are used to calling people by their first names this can be a little strange. To the Germans, titles are important. Forgetting that someone should be called Herr Doktor or Frau Direktorin might cause serious offence. It is equally offensive to call them by a title they do not possess.

In Italy the question of title is further confused by the fact that everyone with a university degree can be called Dottore - and engineers, lawyers and architects may also expect to be called by their professional titles.

These cultural challenges exist side by side with the problems of doing business in a foreign language.

Language of course, is full of difficulties - disaster may be only a syllable away. But the more you know of the culture of the country you are dealing with, the less likely you are to get into difficulties. It is worth the effort. It might be rather hard to explain that the reason you lost your contract was not the product or the price, but the fact that you offended your hosts in a light-hearted comment over an aperitif. Good manners are admired: they can also make or break the deal.

(Adapted from an article by Richard Bryan in ‘Business Life’)