How to schmooze your boss

■ Never approach a group of fewer than three people - there is a danger they'll be discussing something private and you'll be seen as rude or as intrusive.

■ Walk up to the group containing the person you want to speak to. Say nothing for at least two minutes while listening attentively to the conversation.

■ Compliment someone on something they've just said. Say: 'I never knew that. Do you know anything else about it?'

■ Don't dominate the conversation afterwards, but work your way in slowly.

■ Make a graceful exit. Say something like: 'Lovely to meet you, here's my card and let's talk again in the future.'

Social scenario 1. The big company dinner

The perfect time to: Impress the management The wrong time to: Bond with your colleagues

Unless you're very senior, a company dinner may be your one golden chance to socialise with people at the very top of an organisation. "Don't waste these opportunities," says Khalid Aziz of the Aziz Spoken Communications Consultancy. "You may never again have the chance to make such a good impression on someone with huge in­fluence on your future." So, instead of chatting all evening with colleagues and immediate managers you already know, take a deep breath and approach as many high fliers as you can.

A mistimed or messed-up approach could equally do you harm (not to mention leaving you hiding in the toi­lets with embarrassment!). So what are the secrets? "Wait until after din­ner to approach a top person," says Aziz. "They'll be more relaxed.

"Wait For a lull in the conversation then hold your hand out confidently and introduce yourself, saying your name and which department you're from," says Aziz. "Even if your only aim is to make contact with this per­son, be prepared to shine. I call it the 20-seconds-in-a-lift-with-Tony-Blair scenario. He says, 'Hello, I'm Prime Minister. What do you do?' Do I say, 'I'm director of the Aziz Consultancy' -which tells him nothing - or do I grab his attention and say 'I help people make brilliant speeches,' so he goes away remembering me?

"You need your own catchline to impress, but don't be cheesy or self-aggrandising," adds Aziz. "Just sum up what you do best for your organi­sation in a sentence, and be ready to say it if you're asked what you do."

Social scenario 2. The department lunch

The perfect time to: Show a different side to colleagues and immediate managers The wrong time to: Mix work and your personal life "Workplaces usually only show people a one-dimensional side of you - your 'office' personality," says Grzyb. "But lunches with youi boss and colleagues are a brilliant opportunity to show a different side in an unthreatening situ­ation. Because you're all seated, there's no intimidating mixing and mingling needed - you have a captive audience, so make the most of it." Grzyb advises working out what image your boss and colleagues have of you before the lunch, then consciously dis­playing an alternative side. "If you're the office joker, involve yourself in a serious conversation. Likewise, if you're normally reserved, how's the chance to show your lighter side," she says. "But it's still about being yourself. Don't force a false personality, just take the chance to make an impression with a more rounded image."

Whatever you do, don't make the mistake of thinking it's a lunch with friends — it's still work. "This isn't the time to regale your colleagues with your latest illness or boyfriend trouble. All you're doing is adding grist to the office gossip mill and portraying yourself as someone with problems."

Social scenario 3. The industry drinks party

The perfect time to: Shine in front of all those people you've been longing to impress The wrong time to: Offend people with hasty exits "These occasions are gold mines," says Professor Сагу Cooper. "Your purpose should be to dazzleas many people as possible and give your profile a boost.

If you can master these functions, you'll never be short of a job offer." But how do you mingle to the max without brutally (and blatantly) cutting short each conversation in favour of the next? Aziz suggests we take a tip from the royal family. "When the Queen 'works' a room, she makes the person she's with feel a million dollars by never taking her eyes off them. For two minutes they feel the centre of the universe, but when she moves on, she moves firmly and swiftly."

Never glance over someone's shoul­der to see if there's anyone potentially more interesting or influential behind them - they'll remember your rude­ness and not much else - and never get stuck in one place for too long. The longer you stay, the harder it will be to extricate yourself easily.

Helen Beller reveals how the pros do it: "State right away what you want to chat about, so you're in control. Try 'I just wanted to say hello', or 'Can you tell me what you know about this com­pany, as we both deal with them?' And when your mission is accomplished, it's vital your exit is a graceful one.

"Steer them towards a colleague, saying 'Have you met so-and-so?', and stay for introductions before discreetly leaving," says Beller. "If someone's really making it hardtq leave, just say 'I think we ought to circulate'. Never make up an excuse like needing the toilet or pretending to see someone you know. You'll look unprofessional."

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