17. Sandwich

– The 'roast beef ^`sandwich, ,please.

– 'Half or _‛full?

– _‛Half, please.

– 'What 'kind of _‛bread?

– 'What d’you _‛have?

– ,Wheat, ,rye, ,ciabatta, ,French…

– ^`French, I ,think. _‛Yes, _‛that one – it 'looks _‛good.

– 'What 'kind of _‛cheese would you like?

– 'Make it _‛Swiss.

– To,mato, ,lettuce, ,pickles, ,onions?

– _‛Yes, _‛everything. ^`Hold ,on. 'Do you 'have alf_‛alfa sprouts?

– 'Let me _‛check… 'yes, we ^`do.

– 'Use alf_‛alfa then, in'stead of the _‛lettuce, please.

– ^`O,K. 'Mayonnaise or _‛mustard?

– 'Both 'mayonnaise and ^`mustard, ,please. 'And 'black _‛pepper.

– ,That’s it?

– →That’s it.

– →Next!

18. What’s Up?

– →Hey, 'what’s ^`up, ,mate?

– 'Not ^{`</sup>much, ,mate. 'Got my'self a 'new com<sub>‛</sub>puter. 'Have a <sup>`}look.

– _‛Wow! 'That’s 'fancy _‛stuff! A 'real 'mean ma_‛chine! A 'dual 'core 'processor and ,all!

– It’s 'special de'signed for _‛gaming. It’s a _‛powerhouse. It’s 'got the 'latest 'everything and _‛more.

'Millions of 'real 'brilliant _‛gadgets.

– ^`Cool, ,man. 'Where did you 'get the _‛money? 'Rob a ,bank? It 'costs at the 'very 'least 'ten _‛grand.

– 'Fifteen _‛K | in a 'store near _‛you. But for ,me, it was _‛free.

– 'No _‛way, mate! Or, 'maybe, 'Bill 'Gates 'turned 'out to be your 'long lost _‛uncle | and 'gave it to 'you as a ^`gift? “_‛Luke, 'I’m your _‛father! 'Here’s some 'small _‛change for you…”

– 'Not _‛really. But, the 'Force was _‛with me | and this 'young _‛Jedi | 'got 'hired as a _‛game tester.

– A ,what?

– A 'game _‛tester. They 'pay me to 'test their com_‛puter games.

– 'That’s _‛loony, mate! They 'pay you to ’play? 'No ^`way, ,mate!

– _‛Way! And, they 'gave me this com_‛puter. I’m sup'posed to be 'giving them _‛feedback | on the _‛games they develop. There may be 'bugs in the _‛software, and they 'pay 'testers like 'me to ^`find them.

– 'Does it 'pay ,well?

– It 'ain’t _‛bad | for 'just 'sitting a'round and _‛playing. I 'used to 'do it for 'free ˇanyway…

– 'May the ^`Force be with you, ,mate!

19. Beam Me Up, Scotty!

– 'Looks 'like our 'buddy ^{`</sup>Steve got ,rich. 'Probably 'won the <sub>‛</sub>lottery or something. I 'saw him 'drive a<sub>‛</sub>round | in a 'red Lambor<sup>`}ghini the other ,day. It 'must be 'worth at ^`least half a ,mil.

– _‛Yeah, I _‛know. I 'talked to him _‛yesterday | and 'even had a ^`ride in that rocket of his.

– _‛So, 'what’s his ^`story?

– 'You 'won’t be_‛lieve it.

– _‛Try me.

– O,K. You 'know that our _‛Stevie | 'never in his 'life had a _‛job.

'So, he 'sits a'round all 'day in his _‛underwear | 'watching ^{`</sup> “Star Trek” | and 'browsing the <sub>‛</sub>paper. About a <sub>‛</sub>week ago | he 'goes through the <sub>‛</sub>Auto Trader | and he 'sees that <sup>`}ad. A ^{`</sup>Lambor,ghini for a 'hundred <sub>‛</sub>pounds. And 'being as 'stupid as he ,is | he 'just 'calls the <sup>`}number. The 'chap on the 'other side _‛says “_‛Yeah. 'Come ,over | and 'bring the ^{`</sup>money”. 'Stevie 'says to him,self “'What the <sup>`}heck, it’s ^{`</sup>only a ten minute ,drive, 'what am I 'gonna <sup>`}lose?” You ,with me so far?

– 'Yes, I _‛am. 'Go ,on.

– 'Let’s have a ^`beer ,first. I had a 'tough _‛day. 'Want a ,beer?

– _‛Sure. 'Beam me _‛up, Scotty!