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Self Defense

The most important thing to remember is: Don't Cave In! Some people say that they make concessions in the face of a competitive negotiator demanding a concession - in order to create goodwill. Don't listen to these self deluders, they're bleeding profits. Appeasing competitive negotiators doesn't create goodwill - it just creates requests for more concessions. What's more, a competitive style negotiator will see you as weak, and come back for more. Restate your position firmly using strong language (not 'we'd like' or 'want', but rather: 'we require' or 'need') and never reward bullies.

Accommodate (I Lose - You Win)

The opposite of competing. For accommodating style negotiators, the relationship is everything. Accommodating profiles think that the route to winning people over is to give them what they want. They don't just give products and services, they are generous with information too. Accommodators are usually very well liked by their colleagues and opposite party negotiators.

When to use?

When you or your company are at fault, repairing the relationship is critical, and if you have nothing else that would benefit the other side. i.e. an olive branch or gift to rebuild bridges.  If you are in a very weak position then sometimes your best option is to give in gracefully. Think about it: if they can crush you, and they know it, what is likely to be the outcome if you resist? Yes, bring your own bandages. It may be worth (humbly) reminding them that you will both stand to lose if they put you out of business, and ask if they really want to push you out of that market. If you both intend to work together in the longer term, then refocus the negotiations on the longer term, thereby reminding the other side that their taking advantage of you now may hurt them in the future.

What's the Danger?

It is almost always a bad idea to accommodate when negotiating against high compete styles. With high compete negotiators your generosity will be seen as a sign of weakness to be taken advantage of.  Giving away value early in the negotiation can leave you with a poor hand to play in the rest of the negotiation. With very little to offer, and relying upon the other side's generosity, you're gambling.  Giving away value too easily too early can signal to your negotiation counterpart that you've very deep pockets, and your gift is just a taster of bigger and better gifts to come. To some negotiators, an accommodating style appears to promote harmonious relationships. What these accommodating profiles miss is the myriad of other options that create strong enduring relationships. Giving away the farm usually just creates one happy negotiator, and that's not you. Warning: The faulty thinking that puts accommodates into negotiation damage control is thinking that because the goal is unimportant to you, it must have little value to the other side. Remember to do your homework by asking the value of your concession to the other party before making your trade or concession.

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