Meetings: Politeness strategies

Meeting style and etiquette can change from country to country, company to company, and even from meeting to meeting, but generally speaking, it is important to be polite in meetings, even if the meeting is quite informal in tone.

If you are interrupting or disagreeing with people, it is even more important to be polite: your views are more likely to be respected if you present them in a professional and non-confrontational (non-argumentative) way.

There are several ways to make what you say sound more polite and less confrontational:

Use 'can' or 'could'.  'Sean, can I just ask you…?' 'If you could go through them in order…' Both expressions above are more polite than simply saying 'I want to know…' or 'Go through them in order…'

Use 'would like' '…I'd like to be with other editors…' 'I would like to be able to show her drawings…' This sounds much more polite than 'I want…'

Say 'sorry' 'I'm sorry, but I really strongly disagree…' 'Sorry to hold the meeting up' This is a very common way to 'soften' what you say. Tim and John are not really apologising for what they say – using 'sorry' is telling the listener: 'I'm going to say or do something you might not like, so please don’t get upset'.

Use 'just''

I just wanted to see…' 'Sean, can I just ask you…?' The word 'just' gives the listener a message that you are not asking them to deal with something difficult or time-consuming; that it is not going to be a problem.  

Use 'I think' or 'I feel' 'I do feel quite strongly that we're bringing this out too soon…' 'I don’t think we’ve got any choice…' These phrases have the effect of softening what they are saying, by presenting their ideas as opinions, not orders or instructions.

Acknowledge people 'Okay everybody, ….' '…as you can see…' 'Yeah Sean, ….' It's important to acknowledge the other people in the meeting, by using their names, or words like 'you', 'we', 'everybody', 'my colleagues' etc. If you don’t use these words and expressions, you may give people the impression that you are rather detached and/or authoritarian.

Ex. 19. ROLEPLAY. Roleplay a meeting at an oil company.

First, together with all students, determine the main topic of the meeting (it can be a large-scale production project, construction of a new facility, or final year-end meeting) and choose the chairperson. Then, the rest of the students divide into two or three groups, each having a certain function, for example the Production department, the Sales and marketing department, the HR department and so on. Inform the chairperson about the role of each student. Use the phrases from the list above.

Ex. 20. After a meeting, people often write follow-up e-mails. Complete the two e-mails using the words from the box.

a) writing	d) fascinating	g) minutes	j) forward
b) assistance	e) attending	h) impressed	k) spending
c) interdepartmental	f) regards	i) know	l) in contact

Hi Gary, hi Carl, Thanks again for (1) _______ our team meeting yesterday. It was really useful to have you there. Attached are the (2) _______ of the meeting. I spoke to Andrew and Sabine after lunch yesterday and they agree that these less formal “inter-team” meetings are a good idea in addition to our existing (3) _______ meetings. What time are you going for lunch? Let me (4) _______. Cheers, John

Dear Mrs Cooper, I am (5) _______ to thank you once again for (6) _______ the time to meet me yesterday. It really was most interesting to look around your plant. I was very (7) _______ by your expertise and feel certain that this will guarantee you success with your expansion plans. It was also (8) _______ to hear about your plans to enter the Chinese market. We will be proud to offer you any (9) _______ that we can in this venture. Please note that I have now spoken to our sales manager Mr Keeny who will be (10) _______ with you in the near future. I look (11) _______ to our next meeting. Best (12) _______, Bernard Marks

Grammar

Ex. 21. Study the following information.