Taking it in turns

Conversation is not just a case of linking sentences together. On a more basic level, it fits into a conventional framework. Consider the 'dialogue' below:

Mother: And how's my pretty little darling then?

Вabу: Ugh...Ugh.

Mother: О what a nice bit of wind that was! You must be feeling better!

Baby: Goo, goo.

This brief snatch of 'conversation' illustrates one important fact about human speech: people take it in turns to talk. Even ifone of the participants cannot speak, the other one pretends that the non-talker has taken their turn. But we can go further than simply noting the phenomenon of turn-taking. We can, in addition, describe how a typi­cal conversation might proceed. The speakers are taking part in a social ritual partially prescribed by convention. In a dialogue, utter­ances very often occur in pairs, which are sometimes known as exchanges or adjacency pairs:

Question: What's the time?

Answer: Ten past three

.

Greeting: Hi, Jo.

Greeting: Why hallo Bill.

Offer: Would you like a cup of coffee?

Acceptance: Yes, please.

Apology: / 'm terribly sorry.

Minimization: Please don't mention it.

Paired utterances are not, of course, inevitable, and triple utter­ances are also frequent:

Question: What's the time?

Answer: Ten past three.

Acknowledgement: Thanks.

– 99 –

Conversations, then, typically follow a predictable format, exchanges are selected from a number of commonly used types. The options chosen by a particular speaker on a particular occasion depend on the social situation.

Repairs

Conversations do not necessarily run smoothly. People cannot always explain things properly. Or they make a mistake. Or the person they are talking to makes a mistake. These minor breakdowns, if noticed, have to be 'repaired'. So-called repairs can give additional insights into the way in which humans comprehend one another.

Repairs sometimes involve self-repair, when a speaker sponta­neously notices a problem and solves it:

Could you hand me a spoon? A teaspoon, that is.

Marion arrived on Saturday-sorry, I mean Sunday.

Sometimes they involve other-repair, when someone is not quite sure about what has been said, or suspects that the other person has made a mistake:

I assume you mean a teaspoon.

Did Marion really arrive on Saturday? Wasn 't it Sunday?

However, humans do not usually confront one another directly, so other-initiated self-repair is very common. In such cases, a listener mildly queries the speaker, who then repairs the original utterance:

Speaker A: Alan's taken a course in deep-sea diving.

Speaker B: Alan? Has he really?

Speaker A: Sorry, I don't mean Alan, I mean Alec.

As this example suggests, humans tend to be polite to one another, so politeness can radically affect the structure of conversations. Let us consider this topic further.

Politeness

Shut the door!

I wonder if you’d mind shutting the door?

There's quite a draught in here.

–100–

If you wanted someone to shut the door, you could in theory use any of the sentences above. But in practice, the first, a direct com­mand, would be uttered perhaps only to a young child. To anyone else, it would seem somewhat rude. This avoidance of directness is partly culturally based: 'Why did that man look offended when I said, "Pass the salt"?' asked one puzzled visitor. She was even more bewil­dered when told that it would be better to say: 'I wonder if you could possibly pass the salt.' Why such a fuss, she queried, about a small quantity of salt? But in spite of cultural variation, the idea that it is politer to say things indirectly may be universal.

Humans everywhere tend to be polite in similar ways, based on two basic social requirements: 'No criticism' and 'No interference'. Humans want to be approved of, and they do not want to be imposed upon. Consequently, anyone with social know-how will minimize criti­cism of others and will avoid interfering with their liberty, at least overtly.

These requirements of ‘No criticism' and 'No interference' have an effect on language. Any criticism or interference will be a social risk. Therefore speakers have to balance up the advantages and disadvan­tages of 'straight talking'. They must tot up the social distance between themselves and those they are talking to, the power relation­ship, the cultural norms, and make a decision.

Suppose a colleague was drinking too much whisky. The speaker could say:

Stop drinking! but would be more likely to say tactfully:

/ wonder if we should keep our heads clear for tomorrow's meeting? Or they might even make a joke of it:

Even if everybody else goes bankrupt, the whisky manufacturers will survive!

And of course, if offending a colleague was really too much of a risk, the speaker could just have kept quiet.

But suppose someone had an urgent request, and felt obliged to impose on another person, what happens? There are various strate­gies which are used to soothe the situation. For example, anyone imposing is often pessimistic:

/ don't suppose you could lend me a pound, could you?

Or they might try to minimize the imposition:

–101 -

I won’t keep you a minute, but... Or they might just apologize:

I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but...

The various strategies occur worldwide, but they are not necessar­ily found in every language. Each culture has its own preferred strate­gies. This type of study therefore overlaps with sociolinguistics, the topic of the next chapter.